Humans,unlike most animals,do not come programmed with all they need to survive.They usually learn these skills from their parents,and other members of the society. In addition to learning survival skills like how to fish,or open a coconut,we also learn how to interact with other humans,this second type of knowledge is what is called socialization.
These two different,but related schooling,make up what is referred to as a person's frame of reference,and field of experience. Our frame of reference is a collection,or structure of values through which we view life. For instance,if you tell a native Ijaw man that you have good alcohol,what would come to his mind,is ogogoro,the locally distilled gin! If you tell a Scotsman the same thing,he would envision a bottle of Johnie Walker aged for one hundred years!
Your field of experience on the other hand,refers to the sum total of things done by you, and to you ;the things you have done in the past that become like a library,with which you compare everything that happens today.
For example,if your parents fought all the time when you were growing up,it would be difficult to conceive the picture of a home where there is bliss,and harmony.
Children,are like a blank canvas,whatever picture you paint on them,is what they would show the world.
That is why each time I see parents,especially mothers with children,driving against traffic illegally,I cringe! I have separated mothers for special treatment here because they have custody of the children most of the time. What you are doing when you break traffic rules,is that you are telling Junior,and Princess,that it is smart to do so!
When your children grow up,they would be worse drivers than you. And if care is not taken,you may be vicariously responsible for their deaths too! You showed them,directly,that it was safe to drive dangerously.
Yesterday,I saw a mother,and her two children at a petrol station,she had taken offence,and rightly too,at a man who was jaywalking. She lost her temper,and proceeded to trade insults with the fellow,I was embarrassed for her! Her children soaked it in,like a sponge. I pity whoever gets in their way in seventeen year's time!
Another way we ruin our children,is how we lie on the phone,we tell people,in the presence of our children,that we are not at home,and the child is listening,and programming her hard drive! Lying is good,mother does it a lot! When I was in school,I lived in the same compound as my landlady. Her blind mother,also lived with her. On some nights,I could not sleep,my landlady could be heard beating her blind mother. It was gut-wrenching. But I had one consolation,this my landlady,who had children of her own,was becoming blind from glaucoma,I knew her children would also beat her when it was her turn.
We are becoming derelict, in teaching our children, the values that have been handed down to us by a long,illustrious line of ancestors. These are the values that made us the decent people that we are today.
We may believe it does not matter now,but we would reap the vile fruits in our old age,when our children would be strangers,and monsters to us.
MAY GOD SAVE OUR CHILDREN,THE HOPE OF NIGERIA!