Linda Ikeji: and the Burden of "New Media"

I woke up some days ago, to the muted whispers in the Nigerian cyberspace, that our own answer to the Huffington Post, Linda Ikeji, was in a pickle.

Many prayed, as we are wont to do, that the Lord would deliver her from all her enemies.

The source was said to be one Mr Aydee, who was also known as Mr Dan 'Iyan, also known as Mr Effremov. (Take your pick). 

The allegations were that she had used the intellectual property of others, without permission. What people of intellectual pursuits refer to as plagiarism.

Linda Ikeji is our answer to Ariana Hufffinton, and Oprah Winfrey! She is the reason many bother to read anything longer than two lines online. She has a cult following, that many would find hard to fathom, since nothing serious is ever discussed on her platform. 

Linda Ikeji's Blog is the go to place for all things salacious,and licentious. Her ability to gauge what gossip would sell is uncanny, and the volume of traffic, and advertising revenue, brought her wealth aplenty.

Did Linda Ikeji use materials produced by others, without their permission? Yes! She pretty much admitted it! She felt the need to publish quickly, outweighed what was required by the law: written permission to publish what was generated by others.

To justify her actions, she also accused the instigator of her blog's demise of doing the same. 

Linda Ikeji, is a victim of a wide systemic malady that ails our land: the belief that the rules that the rest of the world play by, do not apply to us.

Some of her ardent supporters claimed that it was envy, as a result of her posting a photograph of her brand new  twenty four million naira Range Rover. This, however, is a simplistic, myopic, and uninformed view of what is a very serious, ethical, and legal, issue.

The advent of the internet, and the concomitant offshoots like self-publishing, blogging, and social media, has resulted in many people playing roles they ordinarily would not be allowed to play in the real world. 

Many people have died from following dodgy medical advice, and remedies offered online. In addition, some strange people believe that once something has been published on the internet, it must be true!
The sad reality, is that in the real world, Linda Ikeji was playing the role of an information gatekeeper, people we normally refer to as journalists!

Some of us sat down in press law class to learn about libel, slander, plagiarism , and all the other land mines that litter the journalism terrain! 

Others, through working in a proper newsroom, were tutored in these same time honoured codes.

Linda Ikeji has just detonated one! She is not the victim of a witch hunt, but a violator of a time honoured code: the ethics that govern information use, and dissemination.

In the academia, the whiff of an allegation of plagiarism , not even the proof, is sometimes all that is required to ruin a person's reputation, amongst his peers!

I have no doubt that Linda will definitely "bounce back"! Hopefully, she would have picked up a very vital lesson: that, because a material is juicy, and is on the internet, "unguarded",  does not mean that it does not belong to anyone, or that it belongs to all of us to use as we please.

Someone made an effort to generate that material! He, or she, made a phone call, took a cab, or flew to conduct an interview, or take a photograph. To use  another's material, without permission, is theft! 

And, as she has found out to her hurt,  there are sanctions for theft, even in cyberspace.

Nigeria is a part of the world, we may be behind physical geographical boundaries, but the rest of the world, do not view those boundaries as a license for us to kick the rules in the teeth.

Why Nigeria May Not Be Great, At Least For Now.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

If there is one thing all Nigerians want, it is for us to have a great nation! What we are not in agreement on however, is how to achieve this objective.Many of us also seem to believe, that our individual actions, or lack of it, cannot in any way hurt our attainment of this lofty objective.

So we go to Church on Sunday, and on our way back home, we drive on the sidewalk, or throw some refuse on the road. On Monday, we go to our civil service jobs, and demand a bribe, before we can do what we are actually employed to do.All this time, we are confessing positively, that it is well with Nigeria, and even adding a prayer, or two to hasten the manifestation.

As if that is not enough, we decide that we will only work till twelve noon on Fridays, because once we go to the Mosque, there is no need to come back to the job whose official closing time is four p.m. Allah inana!We conveniently rob man, to pay God! Part of the bribes collected go towards tithes ,offerings and zakkat. 

The sad truth is that, greatness is not a destination that a nation arrives at! It is actually a journey that her citizens make everyday, in every place, and at all times. 

It is a journey in rectitude, and wholesome conduct. Each time we confess that Nigeria will be great, but fail to do the right thing individually, we are like the man who is a guest at Eko Hotels Lagos, situated less that five kilometers from the Atlantic Ocean, but who insists on casting his hook in the hotel's swimming pool, because he wants to fish!
If it were possible, by any stretch of the imagination, for such a hapless fellow to catch anything in that pool, it is bound to be as a result of fraud, and cannot be sustained!

Each time we seek a great Nigeria, while not investing our own time, sweat, and effort, in doing the right thing, we are investing in fraud.

For a nation to be great, her people must be willing to work at it. It is not the duty of the leaders alone,but a collective one. Right now, we do not seem to possess that belief in being the change agent. We keep exculpating ourselves when we misbehave, believing that the single paper we threw out of the car, the crazy driving, the collecting of kickbacks, and all the abhorrent traits we have gladly embraced, will not in any way, halt our march to greatness.

Greatness is not a destination, it is a lifestyle, we either live it, or it leaves us!

The Solution To Nigeria's Problems!

For the past six months, I have been looking at Nigeria, and asking the question, of myself that is, what single action/solution/move etc, would take us out of our current overwhelming darkness, into the light of civilization!

In the past, when I asked this question, I arrived at corruption, as the ogre that we needed to slay!

I now find myself, with superior information, and the additional wisdom that comes with the passage of time, looking at a different prospect all together!

If we say it is corruption: why does corruption thrive? It does because of a pervasive culture of lawlessness!

One other pet bogeyman we love to blame, is ethnicity, and nepotism! That too, is an issue, but we do not see it in other countries!

So what is our biggest problem, and how can we solve it?

It is the police! 

It is so simple, I do not know why we have never considered it!

What makes the United States of America, a lawful place?

Why do hardened, dyed-in-the wool serial, chronic, law-breaking Nigerians, model citizens in the United Kingdom?

The answer to the two questions above, is simple! 

The Police in these two countries, cannot be influenced!

If Barack Obama, the American president, for some inexplicable reason, decides to drive himself, and goes over the speed limit, an American policeman, would gladly issue him a ticket for over speeding!

If he tries to influence the man, by declaring that he is the president, another offence would be added to the first, trying to influence an officer of the law! These would be sufficient grounds to commence impeachment proceedings!

In Nigeria, the reverse is the case! When a local government chairman wants to drive against oncoming traffic, his police detail, actually lead the way!

In like manner, when someone in government wants to show an opponent, who is not so privileged, he sends policemen to rough him up!  

If you break the law in Nigeria, and find yourself in police trouble, you are sure that the solution to your problem, has a price!

If you offer the investigating police officer five hundred naira, and are turned down, you can increase it to five thousand naira!

If he rejects that one too, you go to his superior officer, and offer fifteen thousand naira! If the inspector refuses your offer of fifteen thousand naira, you go to the divisional police office, with a bribe of fifty thousand naira!

If the DPO refuses to play ball, then you may need to take five hundred thousand naira, to the commissioner for police!

Should the commissioner refuse your offer, you are bound to find someone, between him, and the inspector general of police!

In so doing, one is able to kick the law in the teeth, and get his way!

Murderers, kidnappers, hired killers, election riggers, and all manner of deviants, rule Nigeria, through conniving with the police!

So what is different about the two countries mentioned above, as having a police force, that is a deterrent?

In these two countries, the police actually do their jobs! They solve crimes, and cannot be easily swayed, by the offer of money! 

I am not saying that we do not have a few individuals among them, who regularly collect money, to undermine the law: they are there, but in the minority!

In our own case, we have a culture that undermines the rule of law!

So how can we transform our police force, from one that is corrupted, and for sale, to a truly efficient watchdog?

While the answers may be simple to proffer, the execution would be very costly in human, and monetary terms!

We have a saying among the Yoruba ethnic group of my people, that obe to dun, owo lo pa! (That it cost a lot to cook a very rich, and delicious soup!)

We would need to reorient the force, and this is an almost impossible task! Note, I said 'almost impossible', not impossible!

Too many unqualified people, people either disqualified by reason of being morally wanting, since they are former criminals, and those who do not have the educational qualification, currently wear the police uniform!

These ones would need to go!

Secondly, we would need to increase the salary of the least paid police man/woman, to such a level, that they would not want to jeopardize it, with a fifty naira bribe!

In addition, they should be guaranteed, accommodation for life, on retirement! 

These would be in addition to improving their working condition with equipment that enhance efficiency!

How many times have you seen a police man, wearing the wrong shoes? How many times have you seen them hobbling along in a rickety vehicle, with broken headlamps, and windshield, trying to chase a criminal who has stolen a Mercedes Benz AMG, or a BMW X6?

If the president truly wants to transform Nigeria, let him transform the police!

When the police is transformed, and incorruptible, people would think twice before rigging! A transformed police would make bribe taking, a high-risk venture!

We have the resources, many times over, to make this a reality, what we lack, is the political will! 

Five thousand naira denomination and accidents!

Mallam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, is looking for trouble! Or how do we describe this his new misadventure called the five thousand naira note?

I can see all the problems the man intends to cause already! He has declared that the note is for high-volume cash users only ( I thought we were now transiting into a cashless economy?) And that the circulation would be limited!

The rich, and powerful, those who do not want us to know their business, love the note! 

Can you imagine what would happen when next the presidency wants to bribe the national assembly members? 

Instead of the regular burlap sacks (Ghana must go) hitherto used, the delivery might just be forty bundles in a regular gift bag, with the inscription, "A complementary copy of the book, Do My Bidding" inscribed boldly on it!

The rest of us would see "books" being given to members who do not read, and we would not be wiser!

Imagine what Farouk Lawan would have done, if he had been paid (not bribed) with the five thousand naira denomination? Everything would have fitted in his babanriga, and he would not have needed his cap to carry more!

This note is a game changer! The world has been shrinking everything in the last twenty years, and so bribery needs to fall in line! It is uncool to begin to lug huge bags of currency, when everything could be "nanonized"!

This same denomination, would have been a big relief to the civil servant working with the National Pension Commission, who was caught with two billion naira at home! With this note, he probably would have needed just a small safe to keep everything in, as opposed to the rooms where the money was discovered!

In this life, problems come both for the rich, and the poor, and they are usually of different strokes!

You are probably thinking that common folks like us, will never see that money, but that is where you are wrong!

A story would suffice here! I was told,( I was not present at the occasions) that a particular governor from the South West of Nigeria, when he was still in office, had a ritual: anytime one of his girlfriends was visiting, her taxi fare was always five hundred thousand naira! If one of her friends was also on the girl's entourage, she would receive two hundred and fifty thousand naira!

They say this governor, who happens to be fond of bleaching his skin, and wearing a chain around his ankle,( I was not there, and these are just rumours, and allegations by some "alligators") did this every time!

Now imagine if that governor had been in office at this auspicious time of the imminent arrival of the messianic five thousand naira note, is there anyone who could prevent the fellow from slipping one bundle of the good stuff, to the object of his amorous affections?

The consequence would be that Sidika, to pretend that is her name, gets home, and subsequently decides to oppress the neighbours, by throwing her newly acquired fiancial muscle around!

If she buys a recharge card of five hundred naira from Chukwudi, with the wonderful note, Chukwudi suddenly finds himself in the elite class of those whom the gods have favored! 

But, there is a twist to the tale! In the afternoon, the young man decides to branch that wonderful amala joint behind Adamasingba stadium,Ibadan; and consumes amala fifty naira, and saki (offal) twenty naira! 

On finishing his meal, Chukwudi produces his newly acquired gold card, the five thousand naira note: the problem is that all the woman's sales for the day, is less that two thousand naira! You can imagine the tumultuous turmoil this would cause! The woman would probably beat him up, accusing him of premeditated fraud!

If, on the other hand, Chukwudi did not eat that day, but decided to go to Dugbe to see his Uncle, trouble would still dog him! Were he to hand his five thousand naira note to the conductor, for a twenty naira fare, you can see that the equation would not truly balance, and another round of trouble would ensue!

Conversely, if the conductor were to collect the note, and a strong wind were to snatch it out of his hand before one could shout "Mapo", we are more likely to witness a scene in which God receives two visitors in one day: the conductor, and Chukwudi, all on account of a piece of paper no larger than three by seven inches!

I have not even bothered to tell you about Husaini, the security man, who, on collecting his monthly salary of ten thousand naira, just two notes, decided to visit the market for some needed supplies for his small business on the side! 

Unbeknownst to him, as he fiddled with his pocket, trying to bring out his phone to answer a call, his two magic notes surreptitiously slipped out! Allah hu akbar! That day, they had to beg him to come down from the high tension power lines he had climbed to commit suicide!

Must I tell you of Chief Nonso, who while enjoying the music of Morroco Maduka at a party, did not know that the wad of notes he thought was just five thousand naira, was actually half a million! 

His eyes were closed, and the music was touching all the right spots! 

As he threw the bundle in the air, as is the fashion of spraying in the Eastern part on Nigeria, he wondered why people were screaming, and scrambling, for ordinary change: poverty, was his conclusion! 

It was when he opened his eyes, and saw half a million naira blowing in the wind, that he realized his error: he joined them in the scramble! Alas, he was only able to wrest a note, albeit from a little girl!

As you can see, the five thousand naira note is an accident waiting to happen, the problem is, it will be difficult to predict when, or prevent it!

I rise!

Why Our Disappointment In Sports Will Continue!

If there is one thing that unites Nigerians, it is sports!

In my experience as an avid follower of many sports, our experience has been largely disappointing!

We have had a few highs like the Atlanta Olympics gold in football, and other underage football competitions!

There has been a disproportionate return on investment in how much money we have spent, and the success enjoyed!

I had cause to photograph the Abuja national stadium, as part of the visuals Nigeria was preparing for our ill-fated bid for the Commonwealth Games some years ago!

While there, I noticed a few very disturbing things! I saw some athletes, after their morning practice session, sitting under a canopy, it was a mama put joint, and they were eating boiled yam, and beans!

I am not a sports nutritionist, but one thing I know, from watching premiership footballers, British, and American, Olympic athletes, is that what they eat, how they eat it, and even what medications they can take for the flu, are highly monitored, and regulated!

After eating, I noticed that these sports men, and women, trekked home! They were too broke to even take a vehicle home! It was shocking!

Before the Olympics in China, the British cyclists trained in special humidity controlled rooms, to replicate the humidity level they would experience in China!

Those who were carrying injuries, slept in special oxygen tents, to hasten the healing process, and it was said that sleeping in those tents also boosted performance!

In the cut-throat world called modern sports, the margin for error are razor thin, and sometimes the difference between gold and silver, could be two seconds, or half an inch!

That is why nations that are really serious about sports, monitor what their athletes weigh, what they eat, drink, smoke, and even when they can make love!

For such nations, their sportspeople are in a sort of permanent Big Brother house! They are always under the microscope!

To achieve this, a lot of money is usually involved! It is not spent on the comfort of officials, for things like official cars, and overseas jamborees, but on the enhancement of the performers, who are the real stars, and assets!

What has been the picture of Nigeria’s sports terrain in the last thirty years?

Leeches, looters, and parasites, feeding fat, while our sports die!

No one currently holding any position of responsibility is there for the good of sports! They see sports as an avenue to make money, and travel the world, at government expense!

The international embarrassment is so bad that people like Amos Adamu, even took our disgrace to the international stage! When we go for major competitions, if our competitors are sixty, our officials are usually two hundred! 

People travel with their wives, and or, girlfriends, children, and even friends: all at government expense!

We also got it wrong, in the way we have promoted football over every other sport! 

We forget that while it would take twenty two players five matches to win a gold medal, one good swimmer, could win five gold medals in the same tournament! 

That is why Michael Phelps, has won ten times more medals than Nigeria at the Olympics!

This evening, I read the agonizing posts of my friends on Facebook, as they watched the massacre that resulted from our playing the USA in basketball! I do not watch such games, the outcome is a foregone conclusion!

I have stopped watching the Nigerian national football team; the Eagles, play because, I am now emotionally bankrupt! I invested so much in them in the past, with no dividends, and I eventually found myself insolvent emotionally!

If our sports must improve, the professional leeches, and freeloaders, who currently have it by the jugular, would need to be flushed out of the system!

The young men, and women, who fly our banner, need to be at the center of all our planning, and investment! They should be cared for, even better than the president is looked after!

If we do this, we will suddenly find that we suddenly now know how to win!

In addition, there needs to be a systematic planning of what sport we want to dominate on the world stage, and how we plan to get there! 

In the eighties, and nineties, Americans dominated the sprints! That is now history, because through no fluke, but serious and careful planning, Jamaica has made the sprints her forte!

Nigerians can perform, Christine Oharugo, and Phillips Idowu, are two Nigerians who have dominated the world, by representing Great Britain!

Winning is in our genes too, but requires planning to bring it to the fore! 

I leave you with the eternally true words of the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 24, verse one, the Amplified version” Any enterprise is built on wise planning, becomes strong through commonsense, and profits wonderfully, by keeping abrest of the facts!

May God bless Nigeria, our Nigeria, forever!

NIGERIA IS BROKE

I am sure I have your attention now! As inconceivable as it might sound, all the signs point to a nation on the verge of a financial meltdown!


When an entity's liabilities outweigh her assets, and ability to generate enough income to meet future liabilities, such an entity is usually said to be insolvent, bankrupt, or broke!


In movies, when a person is shot, or stabbed, the victim usually dies instantly, except where a slow death has been written into the plot!


In real life however, we know that death from shooting, or stabbing, can be agonizingly slow! It is a process of hemorrhaging the precious life sustaining fluid, blood: that eventually kills!


Nations do not die like people in films, they die in slow motion! The death blow could have been delivered through a failed policy resulting from a fundamental failure of leadership!


In our own case, that failure has been the policy of successive governments budgeting more on recurrent expenditure (mostly the salaries of political office holders, and other emoluments) instead of capital projects!


We spent more money on areas that did not produce wealth, while neglecting the wealth-generating ones!


Successive leaders have operated with the mentality that oil will never run out, and that their profligate lifestyles would never undermine the nation as a whole: they were all wrong!


Our nation is broke! 


It is the only explanation for the madness of January 1st 2012: the complete removal of subsidy on petroleum! The government could no longer sustain an expenditure that was sure to doom it's very survival!


Nigeria is a modern day example of the infamous General Santa Anna! A man who was reputed for having the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory! In a nutshell, he often managed to turn a winning situation, to one of desperation!


The question of removal of subsidy, or otherwise, would not have arisen, if Nigeria had properly utilized her God-given asset: crude oil!


Through criminal neglect, collusion with fuel importing cartels, and abdication of responsibility, we allowed our refineries to die without as much as a whimper!


If we had been refining our own crude for local consumption, the argument that we ought to be paying international rates would be a non-starter!


For years we mollified the people by living a lie! Money that could have been used to develop our infrastructure, was paid to government cronies, and carpetbaggers, as the difference in the cost of importing petroleum products, in order to keep prices at an artificial level!


It was the only way peace could be sustained in a nation of such institutionalized corruption, and poverty!


Some of the individuals who benefited from the payment of this subsidy, are actually ministers in this present government!


As we are all aware, many nations in the Euro zone have been seeking external funding to keep them out of insolvency!


Nigeria is aware, that if she goes cap in hand, looking for a bail-out, no one would listen to her!


We are a major oil producing nation! Our president has eight presidential jets in his fleet! He, and his vice president will feed themselves with one billion naira this year alone!


So the only option left to the government, was to go to the people for "a loan"! It is not one they intend to pay back!


It is actually more a case of a drowning man clutching at floating leaves!


If the truth must be told, Nigeria can actually save so much more money, if all political office holders, elected, and appointed, were to take a seventy five percent pay cut!


In that single move, we would see the pendulum swing from red, to black!


Nigeria is broke, and fixing her will not be easy!


MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!

REMOVE SUBSIDY FROM GOVERNMENT TOO!

I will support the removal of subsidy on petroleum products, on one condition: that we stop subsidizing those in government!


Let them pay the full cost of service to the people! Let government service no longer be an opportunity to become rich, but a voluntary one!


In Switzerland, the legislators serve part time, and at their own expense! They are not paid any wages!




In Nigeria however, our national legislators earn more than the American president, and do astronomically less, and are even less valuable to the people!


Our president, and his vice, will spend about one billion naira on food alone next year! This is in a nation where more than ninety percent of the population, live on less than a dollar a day!


Our politicians enjoy overseas medical care, paid for by the government! If this is not subsidy, then I am a cow's cousin!


Serving in government, has become the most lucrative vocation in Nigeria today! That is why people now kill, and maim others, to get to office!


Nigerians have been presented with the most hair-brained policy ever conceived in the history of this nation! 


Our nation imports refined petroleum products, because successive governments failed to maintain existing refineries, or build new ones to replace the ageing ones!


That criminal neglect, was compensated for, by importing refined petroleum products! Fast forward to the year 2011, a smart alec decides that instead of addressing the problem, which would mean building new refineries, it would be better to make the masses pay for government's incompetence!


Is it not shameful, that Africa's largest oil producer, does not, and cannot refine the crude oil it produces? But instead, imports refined products from other African nations that do not have crude oil reserves, but have built refineries to refine imported Nigerian crude?


Since government is incapable of solving this problem, but has chosen to pass the cost to the citizens, it would be nice for them to take another step: remove subsidy from governance!


In a nation without a social security set up, cheap fuel, is the closest thing to welfare! 


Our politicians do not pay for anything while in office, despite the huge salaries they are on! What then are their salaries for?


It is time to remove the subsidies they have been living fat on: it would be nice to see how they would cope with the hell they have created!


While doing the bidding of their master the IMF, they forget that conditions in Nigeria, are not the same as in the nations of the West: where every resource is judiciously, and transparently used!  Where people have have welfare and social security, and living standards and wages, much higher!


This is our demand: REMOVE SUBSIDY FROM GOVERNMENT!

MUCH ADO ABOUT FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL

I am sitting at home in Abuja, Nigeria's federal capital, and I am contemplating a tsunami-like sequence of events! I am contemplating the cataclysmic chaos that will result from the recent removal of subsidy on premium motor spirit, otherwise known as petrol!


Nigeria is the world's seventh largest exporter of crude oil, but has little, or no refining capacity! 


It imports all the refined products required to run the country! 


To make prices affordable, government has had to subsidize the cost of imported products to make them affordable! 


In a nutshell, our government has been paying the penalty for her failure to efficiently manage the economy by refining what we produce, to reduce cost!


With this new policy, the full cost would be transferred to the citizenry, at least those who consume petrol!


In my head, I am simulating various scenarios, and wondering how best to cope with the emerging unfriendly landscape!


What is sure, is that prices will rise contemporaneously across the board! 


Petrol is the real lifeblood of the economy! It is the independent variable that determines all others, it is the nexus, and the fulcrum, the heart and soul of our economy!


It used to cost me four thousand eight hundred naira to fill my car's tank every week, now it would be costing me about nine thousand naira! 




I need to pass that burden to my clients, as surely as others are bound to pass theirs on to me!


I cannot blame them, because no one is in business for charitable purposes only! I see the cost of tomatoes increasing, I see firewood costing more! I see cooking gas costing more because it would cost more to transport!


The only thing that is not likely to increase in cost, is the collective hatred of this government! That would be cheap, and abundant! 


Nations rise and fall on tough decisions, but not all nations can withstand the same tough conditions! Each, with her peculiarities, requires tact, and wisdom! 


Electricity tariffs were increased only in June of 2011, and they are due for an upward review in January 2012! This means that our people would be required to adjust upwards, what they pay for what are the two basic components of living in today's Nigeria!


What the government gave with the salary increase some months ago, it has taken two-fold, with the new rates! 


What is heartrending, is that in the midst of these increases, the cost of maintaining those in government has gone up! They have not been asked to adjust to the new reality! Only the common people have! Perhaps there is an unseen wisdom to this apparent idiocy, it remains to be gleaned from the huge wave of losses looming on the horizon! 


It promises to be bloody, it is sure to be brutal! Jobs will be lost, and comforts sacrificed! Many people will go from being barely alive, to life-support!


All because we live in a country that has not been able to manage her natural resources! If we are not able to take advantage of a commodity where we have a comparative advantage, because we produce it, how are sure of making any headway in those that are outside our control!


Many have argued that the drive to remove subsidy, was the agenda of the IMF: our politicians had robustly rebutted this assertion! It is surreal, that one week after Ghana removed subsidy on petrol, Nigeria is doing the same! 




I once said Nigeria was a joke; a bad joke: I now need to retract that statement, we are not a joke, we are a nightmare: a present, and continuous one!


MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!

CHUKWUEMEKA ODIMEGWU OJUKWU: A TRIBUTE OF SORTS

The only time I had the honour of meeting General Emeka Odimegwu Ojukwu, was in 1992, I believe it was in the December of that year! 


I had just resumed at the Maryam Babangida National Centre for Women Development, as the photographer! 


It was also my first year in Abuja! The Centre had a guest house, which was not operational yet, but the pioneer general manager, Greg Obong-Oshotse, a very resourceful man, could not wait for the place to generate some income for the centre!


So he came up with a novel plan, he wanted some staff, who had been employed for other reasons, to volunteer to run the place, while the process of giving the place to a management firm could be started!


I was one of those who volunteered! It was in the course of my working there, as a telephone operator/porter/housekeeper, that I met the man Ojukwu!


Greg Obong-Oshotse, has always been a man, light years ahead of his time!


He decreed then, that the women centre, including the guest house was to be an alcohol, and tobacacco free zone!


He had not reckoned with guest Ojukwu in Room 201! 


Ojukwu came, and occupied one of the new rooms: we were happy a VIP was one of our guests!


We felt he would tell other VIPs of our excellent hotel! We needed the income to run the Center! 


That was until he checked out of the room! 




To our dismay, we discovered the Ikemba had been smoking a very pungent brand of cigarettes, or cigars, in the room! 


As far as he was concerned, a hotel was not a boarding school!


In addition, there were empty bottles of exotic brandies, and other unholy spirits, in the room! 


You can imagine how shocked we were!


But that incident, epitomizes who Ojukwu was: a man who walked his own path, all his life! 


He was not content to walk in the paths laid down by others!




Need I talk about his romance with Bianca Ono, a relationship that produced a wonderful set of twins?


Ojukwu decided that he was going to marry someone, whose naming ceremony as a baby, he had attended! 


It was not a matter for debate: the public registered their displeasure, and for Ojukwu, his heart was set on what he wanted to do, he married his beauty queen!


He was his own man, through, and through!


Many do not know, that he joined the army, against the wishes of his father, a very influential, and wealthy man in his day! 


His father used his connections to prevent Ojukwu from gaining entry into the defence academy! 


In keeping with his dogged resolve, he chose to go to the military school instead, thus joining as a recruit!


It was when he got into trouble with his drill instructor, for the umpteenth time,  ostensibly for correcting him on the proper way to pronounce "safety clip" and not the "safiti kili" the fellow kept telling the recruits, that he got his wish!


Other recruits who knew the right pronunciation kept their counsels to themselves, but not Ojukwu! He had not schooled in Britain for nothing!


A British officer who knew Ojukwu's history, and his father's hand in preventing him from going to the academy, decided that enough, was enough, and there and then, recommended the fellow for officer training!


And that innocuous act, changed the course of Nigeria's history!


We all know about his war with Nigeria, and the reasons behind it, the killing of Igbos in the North!


The serious question we should be asking ourselves now, is, have the conditions that led to the formation of Biafra changed?


A follow-up to that question would be, is Nigeria a more humane, just, and equitable society, after the loss of uncountable lives in the civil war?


If things have not changed: sadly, it means that we did not learn any lessons as a nation from the traumatic episode, and are doomed to repeat it!


May God grant his family the courage to bear this great loss!


MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER!

Phantom Pain from a Phantom Government!

There is a weird, but true condition in medicine: it is called Phantom Pain! It is pain experienced by amputees, in the region where a lost limb used to be! 




It is usually treated by administering pain killing injections!


It is hard to believe, but the brain registers pain, as coming from a severed member of the body! What does this have in common with our beloved government? Plenty! 


A phantom is defined as something apparently seen, or heard, but having no physical reality!


Do you see the uncanny resemblance between the definition of phantom, and how our governments at all levels operate?


They make a lot of noise, they posture for us in the media, and speak what is expected: they are politically correct!



When it is time to make good all the elaborate promises, we are left with dry mouths on a hot day, darkness at night, and a vacuum, where there should be support! 




I am beginning to wish it was possible, for one to block them (all governments, at all levels) the way one blocks an offensive person on Facebook!


Why do I need government?


I already generate my own power through my generator, I provide my water through my borehole, I pay for private security for my home, and I use private health providers!


So of what value is government?


I know that the children of the government, those who benefit from them would say, they are there to provide order! 


What order?


Is it the order of the People's Democratic Party, PDP, disobeying a court order, to stage her gubernatorial primaries in Bayelsa, the president's own state?


Is it a part of providing order, to have soldiers cause mayhem, in the supposed fight for Boko Haram?


Will I call the action of government vehicles running me of the road, with their sirens, and large four wheel drive vehicles, order?


If you ask me, the only tangible manifestation of government, at all levels, seems to be the chaos, and disorder they spread!


It seems to me, that government, and phantom pain, are conjoined twins: they both cause pain, and have no gain!


MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, MY NIGERIA, FOREVER!

HELL IS NIGERIA!

Hell, a place of torment!




That is what Nigeria seems to have become, at least our roads!
I have not traveled to the Southern part of Nigeria, in the last one year! 




Before this hiatus, I had made an average of two trips a month, between Lagos, and Abuja, by road! And it was fun then! I prefer road trips, more than the cursory flyover, simply because I get to see so many visually stimulating subjects I can photograph!


My latest trip to Ondo town to deliver a wedding cake, is in danger of changing my preferred mode of travel! 




I left Abuja at mid-day, knowing that the trip to Ondo town, would not be more than five hours! I was so sure I would get to there before seven pm that day!


The usual traffic jam, at Gwagwalada, in the Federal Capital Territory,FCT, was there, but bearable! 


The town usually sees high, and intense, traffic jams on Mondays, Fridays, and Sundays! All other days, are better!


From Gwagwalada, the trip proceeded as planned, until a few kilometers to Abaji, the last town on the way out of Abuja!


It was a perfect recipe for disaster! A twelve-wheeled truck, locally known as 911, loaded with onions, fell on its's side! That is normal on our roads! 




What was not normal, however, was the geography of the place! It fell just before a bridge across a river, and at peak period! There was no way out, we could not leave the road, and divert through the bush, so we all waited for the valiant men of the Federal Road Safety Corps!


The Abuja-Lokoja road, has been under construction for the past six, or so years! It is meant to be a dual carriage way, and some sections of the dual carriage are already in place: this was the next factor in our hellish trip! Vehicles approaching from the FCT, not only clogged up the old road, but spilled into the new too, thereby creating a bottleneck!


Those coming into Abuja could not, and neither were we able to go as well!


I have noticed that, wherever there is a flat surface, and a car can be placed on it, Nigerians would drive there! It does not matter if it is the side walk, a football pitch, or someone's compound, or back! Our people would gladly drive on it, without thinking! 


We all stopped, at first, not knowing the exact nature of the accident, and pined away in the wilting heat of a scorching mid-day sun! 




If hell was hotter than this, then it surely was a bad place to end up!


At one point, I heard a commotion in a bus beside my car: a child was convulsing! Apparently, a sick child was in transit with his parents! The poorly-looking, gaunt,and  feeble creature, succumbed to the heat!


In the bedlam, people shouted instructions to the confused, hapless, helpless, hopelessly-looking, and clueless, parents! Some screamed, "make the mama piss for him mouth (let the mother pee in his mouth)! You could tell, I was shocked by my reaction to that one! Others said, "put  a spoon in his mouth! "Pour water for him body!


A smart fellow, picked up an onion, the source of our becalment! I suspect, he was trying to use it like smelling salts! And he seemed to be succeeding! I moved close to see what they were doing to the boy! I was again amazed at the level of lack of care! He was hanging in the air, between four adults! One held him by the head alone, another by his feet, and two others held each hand!


I was afraid the overzealous treatment would kill the boy, so I told the idiot holding him by the head, that he was in danger of strangling him! He then proceeded to hold the shoulders! The father was running around like the infamous headless chicken, making phone calls to helpers unseen!


Eventually, the boy, I guess afraid that they would treat him to death, opened his eyes! The parents, who had no water of their own, had to get some from a co-traveler, to pour on him!


We spent two, and half hours, waiting for the fallen truck to be removed! And the journey continued!


I did not get to Akure till nine pm that night!




My return leg of the journey, was uneventful, until I got to Okene! I always tell my friends that, despite my being a model road user, I am more careful anytime I am driving through Okene! Some of the young men in that town, have such short fuses, and would gladly burn one's car for a trifle!


I was waiting in line behind a truck, wondering why we had not moved, when some government fat cats, sirens blaring, and with full bravado, ignored the line of waiting cars, and took the liberty of the "free" lane meant for traffic coming from the opposite direction! 


As soon as they offered this great leadership, all manner of similar social misfits,joined the trailing train!


And as simple logic dictates, the rightful user of that lane was bound to show up: and he did!




A very big truck! 




One of those juggernauts, laden with goods!




Under normal circumstances, they treat other road users with disdain, and in this case, he was not willing to share his rightful lane!




All the errant drivers started squeezing into any available space to make way for him! In the process, one fellow, smashed my side mirror, and the left front fender! Here I was keeping the law, and suffering from another fellow's recklessness!

Our mirrors locked in a deadly embrace! One can see the
 truck in the background, applying pressure on the Toyota Camry

The Camry, now entering the lane he should have been on.

I took a photograph of the two mirrors locked in the deadly embrace, and his license plate, to ensure I could trace him, if he were to escape! But he did not! So we parked a few kilometers from the madding crowd!


He came down, begging that it was an accident! 


I, as is to be expected, was adamant! I told him he had no business being where he was in the first place! 


His lack of care had become my own loss!


I told him calmly, that he was going to replace the mirror, the scratch on the fender, I would sort out! The fellow volunteered that he was coming from the East, and was broke! He said if I did not mind, we could exchange phone numbers that he would fix the car in Abuja! Then he shocked me: he told me he was a pastor! 

More traffic at Okene, on a single lane road.

Pastor? If pastors are breaking the laws of the land with impunity, what would the congregation do? I did not tell him I was a christian, I intend to have him fix it, so that he would remember to behave in future! And it seemed to work too, because a few minutes after, we encountered some more traffic, and when others were facing oncoming traffic to escape, he stayed put!


Gwagwalada was the last point of extreme road rage! Traffic has to converge on a narrow bridge, within the vicinity of a motor park, and a market! I suddenly found myself waiting again, this time for more than thirty minutes! As I waited, I watched as my temperature gauge kept rising, and I kept praying, silently! 




At Gwagwalada, people formed seven extra lanes on the right shoulder of the road! They raised so much dust, and made so much noise! In addition, others used the shoulder across the road, to form two extra lanes! 

If the other side of the road looked like this, one can only
wonder what the right side would have looked like!

The most culpable people I discovered, were government registered vehicles, and very rich-looking vehicles!  


I kept wondering to myself, if being a government operative, exempted one from obeying the law? 




When I got to where the helpless, overwhelmed, road safety marshals were, I asked them, why they seemed to favour those who were on the shoulder of the road, breaking the law, more than those of us, who were law-abiding? 




They informed me that the government vehicles, including police men, were the cause of the confusion! 




Some policemen, had come to threaten them with guns, to allow them go through an unlawful route!


My experience on this trip, has left me wondering:if I were to be a tourist visiting Nigeria for the first time, and had encountered this traffic nightmare, would I want to come back next time, or recommend the place to others?


Secondly, if there is a medical emergency, like a woman in labour, or a sick child, and they have no access to an ambulance with a siren, would they survive what is gradually becoming a routine for us?


It is obvious that soldiers do not make good policemen, they are not trained to! A situation where military checkpoints, force five lanes of traffic into a single file, and end up, not doing more than look at the occupants of the vehicle, and collect bribes from transporters, leaves a whale lot to be desired!


I am wondering what would happen on the road, when the annual mass migration induced by the yuletide season sets in! With the bad roads, checkpoints, and bad road culture, our people are bound to experience hell on our roads in a season meant to celebrate the coming of heaven to earth! 


MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER1