I wrote, not too long ago, about our love for absurd titles: I could not have been prepared for the latest offering from a popular figure this week!
It turns out, that the wife of the president, Dame Patience Jonathan, (first lady is no official title), is a great lover of esoteric titles!
In that my article, I wrote about how a particular illiterate man, wanted a title that was not common. He had become tired of holding the same titles with commoners, and saw his redemption, when he saw a publication on Nigeria's founding fathers! Each one of them had one common prefix before their names:late!
In addition, the fellow also observed that it was not a common title! So he adopted it, and proceeded to introduce himself at a function the next day as "Late High, Chief Mazi Nathanael " I will leave the rest to your imagination!
Our great dame, has just added to her quintessential collection of linguistic zingers!
The latest installment, is more colourful than all the others in her repertoire! She referred to women at a public function, as her fellow widows!
Is that how much she hated them, or is it an indication of how much she loves herself?
They all could have been widows, but is she? That is what they call calling yourself what you are not!
I thought her husband was still very much alive, and with us? He is not Umaru Musa Yar'Adua! The title "widow" belongs firmly to Turai Yar'Adua!
No matter how much Goodluck believes in luck, he would not wish to have Umaru's luck, or follow in his footsteps right away!
I can attest to that! It seems his wife is not marching to the same song with him! If Turai can become a widow, the dame..... (God forbid bad thing, one could be arrested for even thinking, or imagining, bad things these days)
I once heard the dame, on television say to children " Children, read your book, because my husband, the president, read his book!
It seems the dame, who they say is a former teacher, has not been reading her book properly! She leaves so much to be desired!
People have been touting Jonathan's qualification for the presidency, and their support for it, on his possession of a doctorate degree!
It seems he has not helped his cause with his giving his wife public speaking assignments! They are all diminishing the intellectualness of the Jonathan's household, and bringing it to disrepute!
I fear for Nigeria! I have hypothesized what a speaking engagement involving the great dame, and Michelle Obama, would look like: beauty and the beast comes to mind!
There is no constitutional provision for an office of the first lady. All those who have claimed such an office, have been breaking the law! It seems it is now time for us to critically evaluate it! Maybe a candidate's fortune, should be tied to the performance of his/her spouse! After all, she is going to be representing us too, even if it is wily nilly!
A friend of mine wrote on his Facebook wall, that if he were Jonathan, he would lock up the dame, bury the key, and not allow her to come out till after the election! I agree with him!
Jonathan's campaign, seems to be stumbling with it's humongous foot in it's mouth, week in week out! Last week, it was Bode George, this week's offering, is Linguistics 101, with the great Dame, as the resource person!
MAY GOD BLESS, AND DELIVER NIGERIA,OUR BELOVED NIGERIA FOREVER!