Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Can The Dead Trust You?
In the past, the victims of plane crashes, seemed to be
“strangers” to us: we did not have any direct relationship with them;
be it family, professional, or otherwise!
In my opinion, this was the first plane crash in Nigeria,
whose infamy, tragedy, and pain, was forced on our collective psyches by the
mammoth information overload we were subjected to!
The husband and wife, the three generations of a family that
perished; those on ground who died, and the numerous human interest stories
that resulted!
And that truly troubled us, and appealed to our humanity!
For many that were left to mourn the sadly departed,
suffering was the new way of life; and we knew it!
Many were survived by children in primary school, some by
pregnant spouses, and, or, aged parents!
We were going to help!
Have we
continued to visit the bereaved children as we covenanted with ourselves?
Did you pay for that operation your late friend’s wife needed?
The passage of time has a way of putting things in their proper
perspective!
When these people were alive, some of them helped us! They
gave us personal, and business loans, they were there for us! They were
God-sent!
In other cases, we had fun with them, we visited all the
fantastic joints in town, and beyond; and we had fun!
So what has happened?
What should happen?
They were knee-jerk reactions; akin to the children of Israel
rushing off to to fight the giants, after they had initially
decided they were grasshoppers!
If you have been faithful to your pledge, good for you! Keep
it up!
If you have failed, you still have time to redeem yourself!
The truth is, we live one day at a time, so let your help
come, one day a time!
Do not make it a one-off grant, or a grand project in the
pipeline, the survivors cannot wait!
Instead, be there to hold a hand, lend a hand, or lift up one!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Wars As A Means of Economic Stimulus!
Many have alleged, that large multi-national corporations like Halliburton, and Z, the security contractor, sometimes start wars for economic profit!
When nations 'declare war',what we are finally seeing in public, is the culmination of underground work, by agents of these corporations, who know that a war would be profitable to their sponsors!
We have seen a rew wars in Africa started by Western powers in Africa, through proxies like arm dealers, who end up selling arms to both sides, for profit!
While this may sound repugnant to moralists, this is just business to those who engage in it!
We have seen billions paid to Halliburton, and Z Corporation, for various supplies, ranging from ordinances,and other weapons, and logistical support for the troops!
Their fortunes are usually promoted by lobbyists in Washington, and other major capitals of the world!
As we grapple with our own seemingly insurmountable intractable internal insurrection,one cannot help but wonder, could our conflict also be a well contrived smokescreen, a sleight of hand, to siphon money, legitimately, while 'prosecuting the war on terror'!
Billions have been voted for this war, and by the end of the day, trillions would have been
spent!
In wartime, very little vetting is done for expenditure on security! This is because every request is usually presented as a life, or death issue, that must be solved post haste!It is almost unthinkable, to contemplate,but definitely not far fetched. Money has away if bringing out the worst of human nature!
Some queer things have been happening!Allegions from another terror plot, seem to indicate, that those who ought to know, and definitely have the means, and the motive, may also be orchestrating a new conflict meant to achieve key objectives!
One objective, would be to keep the populace distracted, and so unable to mount any form of civil disobedience!
The second, to ensure the release of billions, unvetted, and unaccounted for,all guaranteed to vanish into that black hole called the war on terror!
I am beginning to think like this, since the arrest of a certain John:a non Boko Haram name, supposedly working for the dreaded Boko Haram!
One is not disputing the existence of Boko Haram, but the level of sophistication we are currently seeing, seems to be beyond them!
I really hope I am wrong this time! I wish to be wrong, because to be right, would be to unthinkable in consequence!
May God bless our Nigeria forever!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
NIGERIA IS BROKE
I am sure I have your attention now! As inconceivable as it might sound, all the signs point to a nation on the verge of a financial meltdown!
When an entity's liabilities outweigh her assets, and ability to generate enough income to meet future liabilities, such an entity is usually said to be insolvent, bankrupt, or broke!
In movies, when a person is shot, or stabbed, the victim usually dies instantly, except where a slow death has been written into the plot!
In real life however, we know that death from shooting, or stabbing, can be agonizingly slow! It is a process of hemorrhaging the precious life sustaining fluid, blood: that eventually kills!
Nations do not die like people in films, they die in slow motion! The death blow could have been delivered through a failed policy resulting from a fundamental failure of leadership!
In our own case, that failure has been the policy of successive governments budgeting more on recurrent expenditure (mostly the salaries of political office holders, and other emoluments) instead of capital projects!
We spent more money on areas that did not produce wealth, while neglecting the wealth-generating ones!
Successive leaders have operated with the mentality that oil will never run out, and that their profligate lifestyles would never undermine the nation as a whole: they were all wrong!
Our nation is broke!
It is the only explanation for the madness of January 1st 2012: the complete removal of subsidy on petroleum! The government could no longer sustain an expenditure that was sure to doom it's very survival!
Nigeria is a modern day example of the infamous General Santa Anna! A man who was reputed for having the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory! In a nutshell, he often managed to turn a winning situation, to one of desperation!
The question of removal of subsidy, or otherwise, would not have arisen, if Nigeria had properly utilized her God-given asset: crude oil!
Through criminal neglect, collusion with fuel importing cartels, and abdication of responsibility, we allowed our refineries to die without as much as a whimper!
If we had been refining our own crude for local consumption, the argument that we ought to be paying international rates would be a non-starter!
For years we mollified the people by living a lie! Money that could have been used to develop our infrastructure, was paid to government cronies, and carpetbaggers, as the difference in the cost of importing petroleum products, in order to keep prices at an artificial level!
It was the only way peace could be sustained in a nation of such institutionalized corruption, and poverty!
Some of the individuals who benefited from the payment of this subsidy, are actually ministers in this present government!
As we are all aware, many nations in the Euro zone have been seeking external funding to keep them out of insolvency!
Nigeria is aware, that if she goes cap in hand, looking for a bail-out, no one would listen to her!
We are a major oil producing nation! Our president has eight presidential jets in his fleet! He, and his vice president will feed themselves with one billion naira this year alone!
So the only option left to the government, was to go to the people for "a loan"! It is not one they intend to pay back!
It is actually more a case of a drowning man clutching at floating leaves!
If the truth must be told, Nigeria can actually save so much more money, if all political office holders, elected, and appointed, were to take a seventy five percent pay cut!
In that single move, we would see the pendulum swing from red, to black!
Nigeria is broke, and fixing her will not be easy!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!
When an entity's liabilities outweigh her assets, and ability to generate enough income to meet future liabilities, such an entity is usually said to be insolvent, bankrupt, or broke!
In movies, when a person is shot, or stabbed, the victim usually dies instantly, except where a slow death has been written into the plot!
In real life however, we know that death from shooting, or stabbing, can be agonizingly slow! It is a process of hemorrhaging the precious life sustaining fluid, blood: that eventually kills!
Nations do not die like people in films, they die in slow motion! The death blow could have been delivered through a failed policy resulting from a fundamental failure of leadership!
In our own case, that failure has been the policy of successive governments budgeting more on recurrent expenditure (mostly the salaries of political office holders, and other emoluments) instead of capital projects!
We spent more money on areas that did not produce wealth, while neglecting the wealth-generating ones!
Successive leaders have operated with the mentality that oil will never run out, and that their profligate lifestyles would never undermine the nation as a whole: they were all wrong!
Our nation is broke!
It is the only explanation for the madness of January 1st 2012: the complete removal of subsidy on petroleum! The government could no longer sustain an expenditure that was sure to doom it's very survival!
Nigeria is a modern day example of the infamous General Santa Anna! A man who was reputed for having the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory! In a nutshell, he often managed to turn a winning situation, to one of desperation!
The question of removal of subsidy, or otherwise, would not have arisen, if Nigeria had properly utilized her God-given asset: crude oil!
Through criminal neglect, collusion with fuel importing cartels, and abdication of responsibility, we allowed our refineries to die without as much as a whimper!
If we had been refining our own crude for local consumption, the argument that we ought to be paying international rates would be a non-starter!
For years we mollified the people by living a lie! Money that could have been used to develop our infrastructure, was paid to government cronies, and carpetbaggers, as the difference in the cost of importing petroleum products, in order to keep prices at an artificial level!
It was the only way peace could be sustained in a nation of such institutionalized corruption, and poverty!
Some of the individuals who benefited from the payment of this subsidy, are actually ministers in this present government!
As we are all aware, many nations in the Euro zone have been seeking external funding to keep them out of insolvency!
Nigeria is aware, that if she goes cap in hand, looking for a bail-out, no one would listen to her!
We are a major oil producing nation! Our president has eight presidential jets in his fleet! He, and his vice president will feed themselves with one billion naira this year alone!
So the only option left to the government, was to go to the people for "a loan"! It is not one they intend to pay back!
It is actually more a case of a drowning man clutching at floating leaves!
If the truth must be told, Nigeria can actually save so much more money, if all political office holders, elected, and appointed, were to take a seventy five percent pay cut!
In that single move, we would see the pendulum swing from red, to black!
Nigeria is broke, and fixing her will not be easy!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
PRESIDENT JONATHAN'S EPIPHANY!
When the Jonathan administration was busy earmarking how it would spend billions of naira, on an ill-advised celebration of Nigeria's jubilee, many of us warned that it was a profligate move!
When he went ahead to purchase a brand new presidential jet for seven billion naira, we wondered how he could justify such a huge, and very wasteful expenditure, in the midst of the abject crippling poverty assailing the nation!
His presidential advisory panel, that he personally appointed, advised that his cabinet was bloated, and a waste of scarce resources: he also ignored them!
There have been numerous calls, that the remuneration of political office holders was outrageous, and not in sync with the reality in Nigeria!
This too was not addressed!
So it is curious to observe the presidential leopard suddenly attempting to change his spots! He seems to have experienced an epiphany,or enlightenment of sorts!
The Jonathan who was adept at racking up debts for future generations, at a time that the price of oil was rising, suddenly started speaking the tongues of the frugal, and not of the spendthrift his actions had hitherto supported!
One would have expected him to cut down on his outrageously large cabinet, or on his foreign trips! When he went to the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Australia, he took along 400 delegates! Most of them were nothing more than parasitic tourists feeding on the presidential pig! Back home, this profligacy, is sustained by the elaborate court he seems to be holding at the presidential villa that requires him, and his vice president, spending a billion a year on food!
Instead of looking at himself, and the institutionalized waste he fosters, he has decided that removing subsidy on petrol, the only welfare Nigerians enjoy, is where he would save some money!
He has chosen to show that he can be thrifty, by endangering the very existence of the nation, with runaway inflation, and unsustainable price rises, that his course of action is sure to engender!
A nation in remorse,shock and awe, is now suffering from buyer's remorse over his election!
He has not ceased to tell us how he went to school without shoes, it seems he is determined to increase the number of children, who will not go to school at all, those who would not even be able to afford plates, let alone the food to put on them!
His actions will reduce the whole nation to a basket case: a failure of his own making!
Funny enough, his actions are recorded by a story in the Bible!
When King David clandestinely took Beersheba, Uriah's only wife, the prophet was sent to confront him with a parable!
The prophet, if we remember, told David that there was a poor man, who had just one lamb, and he doted on it as an only child! In the same community was a rich man, who had thousands of life stock, and on a day the rich man wanted to entertain a guest, he conveniently ignored his great herd, and forcefully took the poor man's lamb!
When David heard the story, he was seriously vexed, and promised to kill the rich man for his injustice! That was when the prophet opened up, and told King David, that he was actually the rich man in the story!
In like fashion, Jonathan you are the rich man!
You have taken our only lamb!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA!
When he went ahead to purchase a brand new presidential jet for seven billion naira, we wondered how he could justify such a huge, and very wasteful expenditure, in the midst of the abject crippling poverty assailing the nation!
His presidential advisory panel, that he personally appointed, advised that his cabinet was bloated, and a waste of scarce resources: he also ignored them!
There have been numerous calls, that the remuneration of political office holders was outrageous, and not in sync with the reality in Nigeria!
This too was not addressed!
So it is curious to observe the presidential leopard suddenly attempting to change his spots! He seems to have experienced an epiphany,or enlightenment of sorts!
The Jonathan who was adept at racking up debts for future generations, at a time that the price of oil was rising, suddenly started speaking the tongues of the frugal, and not of the spendthrift his actions had hitherto supported!
One would have expected him to cut down on his outrageously large cabinet, or on his foreign trips! When he went to the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Australia, he took along 400 delegates! Most of them were nothing more than parasitic tourists feeding on the presidential pig! Back home, this profligacy, is sustained by the elaborate court he seems to be holding at the presidential villa that requires him, and his vice president, spending a billion a year on food!
Instead of looking at himself, and the institutionalized waste he fosters, he has decided that removing subsidy on petrol, the only welfare Nigerians enjoy, is where he would save some money!
He has chosen to show that he can be thrifty, by endangering the very existence of the nation, with runaway inflation, and unsustainable price rises, that his course of action is sure to engender!
A nation in remorse,shock and awe, is now suffering from buyer's remorse over his election!
He has not ceased to tell us how he went to school without shoes, it seems he is determined to increase the number of children, who will not go to school at all, those who would not even be able to afford plates, let alone the food to put on them!
His actions will reduce the whole nation to a basket case: a failure of his own making!
Funny enough, his actions are recorded by a story in the Bible!
When King David clandestinely took Beersheba, Uriah's only wife, the prophet was sent to confront him with a parable!
The prophet, if we remember, told David that there was a poor man, who had just one lamb, and he doted on it as an only child! In the same community was a rich man, who had thousands of life stock, and on a day the rich man wanted to entertain a guest, he conveniently ignored his great herd, and forcefully took the poor man's lamb!
When David heard the story, he was seriously vexed, and promised to kill the rich man for his injustice! That was when the prophet opened up, and told King David, that he was actually the rich man in the story!
In like fashion, Jonathan you are the rich man!
You have taken our only lamb!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
REMOVE SUBSIDY FROM GOVERNMENT TOO!
I will support the removal of subsidy on petroleum products, on one condition: that we stop subsidizing those in government!
Let them pay the full cost of service to the people! Let government service no longer be an opportunity to become rich, but a voluntary one!
In Switzerland, the legislators serve part time, and at their own expense! They are not paid any wages!
In Nigeria however, our national legislators earn more than the American president, and do astronomically less, and are even less valuable to the people!
Our president, and his vice, will spend about one billion naira on food alone next year! This is in a nation where more than ninety percent of the population, live on less than a dollar a day!
Our politicians enjoy overseas medical care, paid for by the government! If this is not subsidy, then I am a cow's cousin!
Serving in government, has become the most lucrative vocation in Nigeria today! That is why people now kill, and maim others, to get to office!
Nigerians have been presented with the most hair-brained policy ever conceived in the history of this nation!
Our nation imports refined petroleum products, because successive governments failed to maintain existing refineries, or build new ones to replace the ageing ones!
That criminal neglect, was compensated for, by importing refined petroleum products! Fast forward to the year 2011, a smart alec decides that instead of addressing the problem, which would mean building new refineries, it would be better to make the masses pay for government's incompetence!
Is it not shameful, that Africa's largest oil producer, does not, and cannot refine the crude oil it produces? But instead, imports refined products from other African nations that do not have crude oil reserves, but have built refineries to refine imported Nigerian crude?
Since government is incapable of solving this problem, but has chosen to pass the cost to the citizens, it would be nice for them to take another step: remove subsidy from governance!
In a nation without a social security set up, cheap fuel, is the closest thing to welfare!
Our politicians do not pay for anything while in office, despite the huge salaries they are on! What then are their salaries for?
It is time to remove the subsidies they have been living fat on: it would be nice to see how they would cope with the hell they have created!
While doing the bidding of their master the IMF, they forget that conditions in Nigeria, are not the same as in the nations of the West: where every resource is judiciously, and transparently used! Where people have have welfare and social security, and living standards and wages, much higher!
This is our demand: REMOVE SUBSIDY FROM GOVERNMENT!
Let them pay the full cost of service to the people! Let government service no longer be an opportunity to become rich, but a voluntary one!
In Switzerland, the legislators serve part time, and at their own expense! They are not paid any wages!
In Nigeria however, our national legislators earn more than the American president, and do astronomically less, and are even less valuable to the people!
Our president, and his vice, will spend about one billion naira on food alone next year! This is in a nation where more than ninety percent of the population, live on less than a dollar a day!
Our politicians enjoy overseas medical care, paid for by the government! If this is not subsidy, then I am a cow's cousin!
Serving in government, has become the most lucrative vocation in Nigeria today! That is why people now kill, and maim others, to get to office!
Nigerians have been presented with the most hair-brained policy ever conceived in the history of this nation!
Our nation imports refined petroleum products, because successive governments failed to maintain existing refineries, or build new ones to replace the ageing ones!
That criminal neglect, was compensated for, by importing refined petroleum products! Fast forward to the year 2011, a smart alec decides that instead of addressing the problem, which would mean building new refineries, it would be better to make the masses pay for government's incompetence!
Is it not shameful, that Africa's largest oil producer, does not, and cannot refine the crude oil it produces? But instead, imports refined products from other African nations that do not have crude oil reserves, but have built refineries to refine imported Nigerian crude?
Since government is incapable of solving this problem, but has chosen to pass the cost to the citizens, it would be nice for them to take another step: remove subsidy from governance!
In a nation without a social security set up, cheap fuel, is the closest thing to welfare!
Our politicians do not pay for anything while in office, despite the huge salaries they are on! What then are their salaries for?
It is time to remove the subsidies they have been living fat on: it would be nice to see how they would cope with the hell they have created!
While doing the bidding of their master the IMF, they forget that conditions in Nigeria, are not the same as in the nations of the West: where every resource is judiciously, and transparently used! Where people have have welfare and social security, and living standards and wages, much higher!
This is our demand: REMOVE SUBSIDY FROM GOVERNMENT!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
MUCH ADO ABOUT FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL
I am sitting at home in Abuja, Nigeria's federal capital, and I am contemplating a tsunami-like sequence of events! I am contemplating the cataclysmic chaos that will result from the recent removal of subsidy on premium motor spirit, otherwise known as petrol!
Nigeria is the world's seventh largest exporter of crude oil, but has little, or no refining capacity!
It imports all the refined products required to run the country!
To make prices affordable, government has had to subsidize the cost of imported products to make them affordable!
In a nutshell, our government has been paying the penalty for her failure to efficiently manage the economy by refining what we produce, to reduce cost!
With this new policy, the full cost would be transferred to the citizenry, at least those who consume petrol!
In my head, I am simulating various scenarios, and wondering how best to cope with the emerging unfriendly landscape!
What is sure, is that prices will rise contemporaneously across the board!
Petrol is the real lifeblood of the economy! It is the independent variable that determines all others, it is the nexus, and the fulcrum, the heart and soul of our economy!
It used to cost me four thousand eight hundred naira to fill my car's tank every week, now it would be costing me about nine thousand naira!
I need to pass that burden to my clients, as surely as others are bound to pass theirs on to me!
I cannot blame them, because no one is in business for charitable purposes only! I see the cost of tomatoes increasing, I see firewood costing more! I see cooking gas costing more because it would cost more to transport!
The only thing that is not likely to increase in cost, is the collective hatred of this government! That would be cheap, and abundant!
Nations rise and fall on tough decisions, but not all nations can withstand the same tough conditions! Each, with her peculiarities, requires tact, and wisdom!
Electricity tariffs were increased only in June of 2011, and they are due for an upward review in January 2012! This means that our people would be required to adjust upwards, what they pay for what are the two basic components of living in today's Nigeria!
What the government gave with the salary increase some months ago, it has taken two-fold, with the new rates!
What is heartrending, is that in the midst of these increases, the cost of maintaining those in government has gone up! They have not been asked to adjust to the new reality! Only the common people have! Perhaps there is an unseen wisdom to this apparent idiocy, it remains to be gleaned from the huge wave of losses looming on the horizon!
It promises to be bloody, it is sure to be brutal! Jobs will be lost, and comforts sacrificed! Many people will go from being barely alive, to life-support!
All because we live in a country that has not been able to manage her natural resources! If we are not able to take advantage of a commodity where we have a comparative advantage, because we produce it, how are sure of making any headway in those that are outside our control!
Many have argued that the drive to remove subsidy, was the agenda of the IMF: our politicians had robustly rebutted this assertion! It is surreal, that one week after Ghana removed subsidy on petrol, Nigeria is doing the same!
I once said Nigeria was a joke; a bad joke: I now need to retract that statement, we are not a joke, we are a nightmare: a present, and continuous one!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
IS NIGERIA PREPARED FOR THE INEVITABLE ENVIRONMENTAL,ECONOMIC, AND SECURITY CHANGE COMING?
The dodo was a flightless bird, endemic to the island of Mautitius! The bird had dwelt on the uninhabited island, before the coming of the Dutch, the first humans, who settled on the island in 1598!
Before the arrival of man to the island, the bird had no natural enemies, and hence did not know the meaning of danger, and fear!
It did not flee from humans, or their pets.
By 1681, the last dodo was killed! The birds were killed by the settlers for food; their cats, pigs, and monkeys, also took a toll on the birds!
The English expression, dead as a dodo, connotes two things: the first is one impervious to change, and the second, the act of obliterating something!
Our country has dwelt in unmerited security from amalgamation, to independence, and up till the end of the last century!
However, this unearned security, is being threatened by insurgents like Boko Haram, and previously, by the militants of the Niger Delta!
But these are still infinitesimal threats, compared to the possible threats that lie on the horizon!
A friend of mine, Cordelia Okpei, inquired once on her status on Facebook, what would happen, if snow started falling in Lagos?
We all joked about it, and the conclusion was that, many would die like flies on a rainy day!
Our record, when it comes to emergency response, is zilch!
The way our nation is set up, our leaders see problems, not as an opportunity to learn, with the view to making provisions for the future, but as an avenue to make money!
So when problems come, instead of the nation learning a lesson, we do not, instead, someone makes a killing, financially, and literally!
I suspect that if we should see snow tomorrow in Nigeria, Aliko Dangote, or Wale Tinubu, or Mike Adenuga, would get the exclusive contracts to import snow plows!
In addition, the clearing of snow by their companies, would be subsidized by government!
And that is how the problem would be addressed, Nigerian style!
Our security apparatus, was a joke for many years, because we did not have any belligerent neighbours like Eritrea, or Somalia!
So our security system was in suspended animation!
While America suffered 9/11, we never for once, imagined that one day, we would have our own killing fields, as Maiduguri has become!
When the seeds of insurgency started germinating, in the guise of Kano religious riots, and Musa Makaliki, who first led the Maitasine sect; we treated them with a feather duster, because of religious, and political considerations!
Some decades after, Sheik Zak Zakky, also fomented trouble, and he got away with it!
By the time Boko Haram would knock on our doors, it found us wide open, and unprepared! Despite the various encounters we had experienced with similar insurgents in the past, they were still a mystery!
If we think Boko Haram, is the end of our home-grown insurgency, then we are surely mistaken!
Al Qaeda, has discovered that the no man's land, between African countries, particularly those that border the Sahara desert, are perfect places to hide from the long arms of America!
That is why we now have AlQaeda in the Magreb, and they are now operating even in Mali! Only one country separates us from Mali!
Enough on security!
The second area of impending change, is environmental!
We have a ministry for environment, and many agencies dealing with the same issue, but all they are, is one big cash-cow!
Civil servants use them to attend international conferences, that give access to allowance in dollars for them, and international donor funds!
In the midst of all this "merchandising" , our environment, continues to degrade!
It has been projected, that due to global warming, sea levels would rise in future, putting in peril, coastal cities like Lagos, Port Harcourt, and Bayelsa state!
As far as I know, people are still being allowed to sand fill, and build on the coast which is projected to be swamped not too long from now!
In fact, Eko Atlantic City, a multi- billion naira real estate development project, is currently redrawing the coastal geography of Lagos!
Someone would tell me an EIA was conducted!
True!
But were the findings objectively assessed, without the blinkers of economic gains,, and political expediency?
And the desert too is there!
It is vanquishing whole swathes of Northern Nigeria!
At the rate it is going, some of our best arable land, would become arid regions within twenty years!
The last challenge I foresee, is economic!
Like stubborn children loathe to let go of their unearned lollipops, the governors have been fighting the creation of the Sovereign Wealth Fund!
They prefer to share whatever income accrues from the sale of oil now!
Their grouse is that if they do not, future governments will still spend the money earned now!
We are just waking up, after fifty years of indolence, and profligacy!
Norway, a country with less oil reserves than Nigeria, has a sovereign wealth fund of 259 billion pounds!
It is the largest SWF, outside the Middle East!
Ours is a humble, one billion dollars, after fifty years of oil exploration!
That is an example of how prepared we are for change!
When juxtaposed, it is obvious, that Norway is better prepared to survive after oil! They have invested in alternative sources of income, that would keep their country going for decades, should oil fail!
In addition, they have also invested in clean, and green energy sources!
To ask a silly question which bears asking, are we prepared for change, or are we like the helpless, hapless, and hopeless dodo?
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!
Before the arrival of man to the island, the bird had no natural enemies, and hence did not know the meaning of danger, and fear!
It did not flee from humans, or their pets.
By 1681, the last dodo was killed! The birds were killed by the settlers for food; their cats, pigs, and monkeys, also took a toll on the birds!
The English expression, dead as a dodo, connotes two things: the first is one impervious to change, and the second, the act of obliterating something!
Our country has dwelt in unmerited security from amalgamation, to independence, and up till the end of the last century!
However, this unearned security, is being threatened by insurgents like Boko Haram, and previously, by the militants of the Niger Delta!
But these are still infinitesimal threats, compared to the possible threats that lie on the horizon!
A friend of mine, Cordelia Okpei, inquired once on her status on Facebook, what would happen, if snow started falling in Lagos?
We all joked about it, and the conclusion was that, many would die like flies on a rainy day!
Our record, when it comes to emergency response, is zilch!
The way our nation is set up, our leaders see problems, not as an opportunity to learn, with the view to making provisions for the future, but as an avenue to make money!
So when problems come, instead of the nation learning a lesson, we do not, instead, someone makes a killing, financially, and literally!
I suspect that if we should see snow tomorrow in Nigeria, Aliko Dangote, or Wale Tinubu, or Mike Adenuga, would get the exclusive contracts to import snow plows!
In addition, the clearing of snow by their companies, would be subsidized by government!
And that is how the problem would be addressed, Nigerian style!
Our security apparatus, was a joke for many years, because we did not have any belligerent neighbours like Eritrea, or Somalia!
So our security system was in suspended animation!
While America suffered 9/11, we never for once, imagined that one day, we would have our own killing fields, as Maiduguri has become!
When the seeds of insurgency started germinating, in the guise of Kano religious riots, and Musa Makaliki, who first led the Maitasine sect; we treated them with a feather duster, because of religious, and political considerations!
Some decades after, Sheik Zak Zakky, also fomented trouble, and he got away with it!
By the time Boko Haram would knock on our doors, it found us wide open, and unprepared! Despite the various encounters we had experienced with similar insurgents in the past, they were still a mystery!
If we think Boko Haram, is the end of our home-grown insurgency, then we are surely mistaken!
Al Qaeda, has discovered that the no man's land, between African countries, particularly those that border the Sahara desert, are perfect places to hide from the long arms of America!
That is why we now have AlQaeda in the Magreb, and they are now operating even in Mali! Only one country separates us from Mali!
Enough on security!
The second area of impending change, is environmental!
We have a ministry for environment, and many agencies dealing with the same issue, but all they are, is one big cash-cow!
Civil servants use them to attend international conferences, that give access to allowance in dollars for them, and international donor funds!
In the midst of all this "merchandising" , our environment, continues to degrade!
It has been projected, that due to global warming, sea levels would rise in future, putting in peril, coastal cities like Lagos, Port Harcourt, and Bayelsa state!
As far as I know, people are still being allowed to sand fill, and build on the coast which is projected to be swamped not too long from now!
In fact, Eko Atlantic City, a multi- billion naira real estate development project, is currently redrawing the coastal geography of Lagos!
Someone would tell me an EIA was conducted!
True!
But were the findings objectively assessed, without the blinkers of economic gains,, and political expediency?
And the desert too is there!
It is vanquishing whole swathes of Northern Nigeria!
At the rate it is going, some of our best arable land, would become arid regions within twenty years!
The last challenge I foresee, is economic!
Like stubborn children loathe to let go of their unearned lollipops, the governors have been fighting the creation of the Sovereign Wealth Fund!
They prefer to share whatever income accrues from the sale of oil now!
Their grouse is that if they do not, future governments will still spend the money earned now!
We are just waking up, after fifty years of indolence, and profligacy!
Norway, a country with less oil reserves than Nigeria, has a sovereign wealth fund of 259 billion pounds!
It is the largest SWF, outside the Middle East!
Ours is a humble, one billion dollars, after fifty years of oil exploration!
That is an example of how prepared we are for change!
When juxtaposed, it is obvious, that Norway is better prepared to survive after oil! They have invested in alternative sources of income, that would keep their country going for decades, should oil fail!
In addition, they have also invested in clean, and green energy sources!
To ask a silly question which bears asking, are we prepared for change, or are we like the helpless, hapless, and hopeless dodo?
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA FOREVER!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
CERTIFIED CLOWNS: A SENATE IN NEED OF SANITY
It has taken the Nigerian senate, less than six months to pass a law, criminalizing same sex marriage! It is a wonderful feat in expedited passage of laws! The great feat begins to look silly, when you consider that it took the same senate more than twelve years to pass the Freedom of Information law!
Our lawmakers have shown an inhuman, and mind-boggling capacity for what can only be described as certified, incontrovertible, and indubitable, stupidity! How do we contextualize this new bill, in the light of the glaring challenges faced by Nigerians daily!
Bills on power sector reforms, constitutional review, and all manner of weighty issues have been foot-dragging through the legislature, like a fasting pilgrim, coming to the end of a thousand mile walk of pilgrimage, and penance; without shoes, in the Himalayas!
Nigerians possess, undoubtedly,one of the richest nations on earth! One where natural resources are surfeit, and able to move the people from poverty, to prosperity!
However, to the dismay of the ordinary man on the street, a deliberate, and criminal, lack of political will, has made all the wealth of the nation seem like property acquired in dreamland:useless!
It cannot be that it is because they are not properly remunerated: they are! Our law makers, in the upper, and lower chambers, individually earn more than the American president! And I must quickly add, while working less than Barack Obama!
Whenever we are granted access to the "hallowed" chambers, what one sees, are over-fed, over-pampered, men and women, with double, and in some cases, triple chins!
They are so full, that they can hardly sit up during debates! They have to slouch, and sometimes sleep, like some five year old, after a long day at school!
One would not be surprised, if, one of these days, a motion is moved to introduce beds into the chambers, to make the work of legislation less-cumbersome!
These are people whose allegiance, is not to the electorate, but to their stomachs!
They see public service as an avenue for self-enrichment, and not service to the people! They are like the pigs of George Orwell's Animal Farm!
They have hastily passed a law that is useless!
What is the business of the government, in a person's sexual orientation? Especially, when that government has not invested meaningfully in the lives of her people!
Nigeria might as well be ruled by a colonial master, and her wealth used to develop the colonial master's country; for that is exactly how it feels right now!
We are seeing the wealth with our eyes, and that is where it ends!
My admonition to the pigs is, remember the Spanish saying, that every pig has it's Saint Martins Day!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER!
Our lawmakers have shown an inhuman, and mind-boggling capacity for what can only be described as certified, incontrovertible, and indubitable, stupidity! How do we contextualize this new bill, in the light of the glaring challenges faced by Nigerians daily!
 |
| Over eighty percent of Nigerians live on less than a dollar a day |
Nigerians possess, undoubtedly,one of the richest nations on earth! One where natural resources are surfeit, and able to move the people from poverty, to prosperity!
However, to the dismay of the ordinary man on the street, a deliberate, and criminal, lack of political will, has made all the wealth of the nation seem like property acquired in dreamland:useless!
 |
| Access to water is still a major problem in Nigeria
It is instances like the expedited passage of this law, and the foot-dragging of the same senate, on crucial, and life-changing legislation that would bring Nigeria into the modern world, that continually baffles right thinking people everywhere!
|
 |
| This is a school! |
They are so full, that they can hardly sit up during debates! They have to slouch, and sometimes sleep, like some five year old, after a long day at school!
One would not be surprised, if, one of these days, a motion is moved to introduce beds into the chambers, to make the work of legislation less-cumbersome!
These are people whose allegiance, is not to the electorate, but to their stomachs!
They see public service as an avenue for self-enrichment, and not service to the people! They are like the pigs of George Orwell's Animal Farm!
They have hastily passed a law that is useless!
What is the business of the government, in a person's sexual orientation? Especially, when that government has not invested meaningfully in the lives of her people!
Nigeria might as well be ruled by a colonial master, and her wealth used to develop the colonial master's country; for that is exactly how it feels right now!
We are seeing the wealth with our eyes, and that is where it ends!
My admonition to the pigs is, remember the Spanish saying, that every pig has it's Saint Martins Day!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
CHUKWUEMEKA ODIMEGWU OJUKWU: A TRIBUTE OF SORTS
The only time I had the honour of meeting General Emeka Odimegwu Ojukwu, was in 1992, I believe it was in the December of that year!
I had just resumed at the Maryam Babangida National Centre for Women Development, as the photographer!
It was also my first year in Abuja! The Centre had a guest house, which was not operational yet, but the pioneer general manager, Greg Obong-Oshotse, a very resourceful man, could not wait for the place to generate some income for the centre!
So he came up with a novel plan, he wanted some staff, who had been employed for other reasons, to volunteer to run the place, while the process of giving the place to a management firm could be started!
I was one of those who volunteered! It was in the course of my working there, as a telephone operator/porter/housekeeper, that I met the man Ojukwu!
Greg Obong-Oshotse, has always been a man, light years ahead of his time!
He decreed then, that the women centre, including the guest house was to be an alcohol, and tobacacco free zone!
He had not reckoned with guest Ojukwu in Room 201!
Ojukwu came, and occupied one of the new rooms: we were happy a VIP was one of our guests!
We felt he would tell other VIPs of our excellent hotel! We needed the income to run the Center!
That was until he checked out of the room!
To our dismay, we discovered the Ikemba had been smoking a very pungent brand of cigarettes, or cigars, in the room!
As far as he was concerned, a hotel was not a boarding school!
In addition, there were empty bottles of exotic brandies, and other unholy spirits, in the room!
You can imagine how shocked we were!
But that incident, epitomizes who Ojukwu was: a man who walked his own path, all his life!
He was not content to walk in the paths laid down by others!
Need I talk about his romance with Bianca Ono, a relationship that produced a wonderful set of twins?
Ojukwu decided that he was going to marry someone, whose naming ceremony as a baby, he had attended!
It was not a matter for debate: the public registered their displeasure, and for Ojukwu, his heart was set on what he wanted to do, he married his beauty queen!
He was his own man, through, and through!
Many do not know, that he joined the army, against the wishes of his father, a very influential, and wealthy man in his day!
His father used his connections to prevent Ojukwu from gaining entry into the defence academy!
In keeping with his dogged resolve, he chose to go to the military school instead, thus joining as a recruit!
It was when he got into trouble with his drill instructor, for the umpteenth time, ostensibly for correcting him on the proper way to pronounce "safety clip" and not the "safiti kili" the fellow kept telling the recruits, that he got his wish!
Other recruits who knew the right pronunciation kept their counsels to themselves, but not Ojukwu! He had not schooled in Britain for nothing!
A British officer who knew Ojukwu's history, and his father's hand in preventing him from going to the academy, decided that enough, was enough, and there and then, recommended the fellow for officer training!
And that innocuous act, changed the course of Nigeria's history!
We all know about his war with Nigeria, and the reasons behind it, the killing of Igbos in the North!
The serious question we should be asking ourselves now, is, have the conditions that led to the formation of Biafra changed?
A follow-up to that question would be, is Nigeria a more humane, just, and equitable society, after the loss of uncountable lives in the civil war?
If things have not changed: sadly, it means that we did not learn any lessons as a nation from the traumatic episode, and are doomed to repeat it!
May God grant his family the courage to bear this great loss!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER!
I had just resumed at the Maryam Babangida National Centre for Women Development, as the photographer!
It was also my first year in Abuja! The Centre had a guest house, which was not operational yet, but the pioneer general manager, Greg Obong-Oshotse, a very resourceful man, could not wait for the place to generate some income for the centre!
So he came up with a novel plan, he wanted some staff, who had been employed for other reasons, to volunteer to run the place, while the process of giving the place to a management firm could be started!
I was one of those who volunteered! It was in the course of my working there, as a telephone operator/porter/housekeeper, that I met the man Ojukwu!
Greg Obong-Oshotse, has always been a man, light years ahead of his time!
He decreed then, that the women centre, including the guest house was to be an alcohol, and tobacacco free zone!
He had not reckoned with guest Ojukwu in Room 201!
Ojukwu came, and occupied one of the new rooms: we were happy a VIP was one of our guests!
We felt he would tell other VIPs of our excellent hotel! We needed the income to run the Center!
That was until he checked out of the room!
To our dismay, we discovered the Ikemba had been smoking a very pungent brand of cigarettes, or cigars, in the room!
As far as he was concerned, a hotel was not a boarding school!
In addition, there were empty bottles of exotic brandies, and other unholy spirits, in the room!
You can imagine how shocked we were!
But that incident, epitomizes who Ojukwu was: a man who walked his own path, all his life!
He was not content to walk in the paths laid down by others!
Need I talk about his romance with Bianca Ono, a relationship that produced a wonderful set of twins?
Ojukwu decided that he was going to marry someone, whose naming ceremony as a baby, he had attended!
It was not a matter for debate: the public registered their displeasure, and for Ojukwu, his heart was set on what he wanted to do, he married his beauty queen!
He was his own man, through, and through!
Many do not know, that he joined the army, against the wishes of his father, a very influential, and wealthy man in his day!
His father used his connections to prevent Ojukwu from gaining entry into the defence academy!
In keeping with his dogged resolve, he chose to go to the military school instead, thus joining as a recruit!
It was when he got into trouble with his drill instructor, for the umpteenth time, ostensibly for correcting him on the proper way to pronounce "safety clip" and not the "safiti kili" the fellow kept telling the recruits, that he got his wish!
Other recruits who knew the right pronunciation kept their counsels to themselves, but not Ojukwu! He had not schooled in Britain for nothing!
A British officer who knew Ojukwu's history, and his father's hand in preventing him from going to the academy, decided that enough, was enough, and there and then, recommended the fellow for officer training!
And that innocuous act, changed the course of Nigeria's history!
We all know about his war with Nigeria, and the reasons behind it, the killing of Igbos in the North!
The serious question we should be asking ourselves now, is, have the conditions that led to the formation of Biafra changed?
A follow-up to that question would be, is Nigeria a more humane, just, and equitable society, after the loss of uncountable lives in the civil war?
If things have not changed: sadly, it means that we did not learn any lessons as a nation from the traumatic episode, and are doomed to repeat it!
May God grant his family the courage to bear this great loss!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Phantom Pain from a Phantom Government!
There is a weird, but true condition in medicine: it is called Phantom Pain! It is pain experienced by amputees, in the region where a lost limb used to be!
It is usually treated by administering pain killing injections!
It is hard to believe, but the brain registers pain, as coming from a severed member of the body! What does this have in common with our beloved government? Plenty!
A phantom is defined as something apparently seen, or heard, but having no physical reality!
Do you see the uncanny resemblance between the definition of phantom, and how our governments at all levels operate?
They make a lot of noise, they posture for us in the media, and speak what is expected: they are politically correct!
When it is time to make good all the elaborate promises, we are left with dry mouths on a hot day, darkness at night, and a vacuum, where there should be support!
I am beginning to wish it was possible, for one to block them (all governments, at all levels) the way one blocks an offensive person on Facebook!
Why do I need government?
I already generate my own power through my generator, I provide my water through my borehole, I pay for private security for my home, and I use private health providers!
So of what value is government?
I know that the children of the government, those who benefit from them would say, they are there to provide order!
What order?
Is it the order of the People's Democratic Party, PDP, disobeying a court order, to stage her gubernatorial primaries in Bayelsa, the president's own state?
Is it a part of providing order, to have soldiers cause mayhem, in the supposed fight for Boko Haram?
Will I call the action of government vehicles running me of the road, with their sirens, and large four wheel drive vehicles, order?
If you ask me, the only tangible manifestation of government, at all levels, seems to be the chaos, and disorder they spread!
It seems to me, that government, and phantom pain, are conjoined twins: they both cause pain, and have no gain!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, MY NIGERIA, FOREVER!
It is usually treated by administering pain killing injections!
It is hard to believe, but the brain registers pain, as coming from a severed member of the body! What does this have in common with our beloved government? Plenty!
A phantom is defined as something apparently seen, or heard, but having no physical reality!
Do you see the uncanny resemblance between the definition of phantom, and how our governments at all levels operate?
They make a lot of noise, they posture for us in the media, and speak what is expected: they are politically correct!
When it is time to make good all the elaborate promises, we are left with dry mouths on a hot day, darkness at night, and a vacuum, where there should be support!
I am beginning to wish it was possible, for one to block them (all governments, at all levels) the way one blocks an offensive person on Facebook!
Why do I need government?
I already generate my own power through my generator, I provide my water through my borehole, I pay for private security for my home, and I use private health providers!
So of what value is government?
I know that the children of the government, those who benefit from them would say, they are there to provide order!
What order?
Is it the order of the People's Democratic Party, PDP, disobeying a court order, to stage her gubernatorial primaries in Bayelsa, the president's own state?
Is it a part of providing order, to have soldiers cause mayhem, in the supposed fight for Boko Haram?
Will I call the action of government vehicles running me of the road, with their sirens, and large four wheel drive vehicles, order?
If you ask me, the only tangible manifestation of government, at all levels, seems to be the chaos, and disorder they spread!
It seems to me, that government, and phantom pain, are conjoined twins: they both cause pain, and have no gain!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, MY NIGERIA, FOREVER!
HELL IS NIGERIA!
Hell, a place of torment!
That is what Nigeria seems to have become, at least our roads!
I have not traveled to the Southern part of Nigeria, in the last one year!
Before this hiatus, I had made an average of two trips a month, between Lagos, and Abuja, by road! And it was fun then! I prefer road trips, more than the cursory flyover, simply because I get to see so many visually stimulating subjects I can photograph!
My latest trip to Ondo town to deliver a wedding cake, is in danger of changing my preferred mode of travel!
I left Abuja at mid-day, knowing that the trip to Ondo town, would not be more than five hours! I was so sure I would get to there before seven pm that day!
The usual traffic jam, at Gwagwalada, in the Federal Capital Territory,FCT, was there, but bearable!
The town usually sees high, and intense, traffic jams on Mondays, Fridays, and Sundays! All other days, are better!
From Gwagwalada, the trip proceeded as planned, until a few kilometers to Abaji, the last town on the way out of Abuja!
It was a perfect recipe for disaster! A twelve-wheeled truck, locally known as 911, loaded with onions, fell on its's side! That is normal on our roads!
What was not normal, however, was the geography of the place! It fell just before a bridge across a river, and at peak period! There was no way out, we could not leave the road, and divert through the bush, so we all waited for the valiant men of the Federal Road Safety Corps!
The Abuja-Lokoja road, has been under construction for the past six, or so years! It is meant to be a dual carriage way, and some sections of the dual carriage are already in place: this was the next factor in our hellish trip! Vehicles approaching from the FCT, not only clogged up the old road, but spilled into the new too, thereby creating a bottleneck!
Those coming into Abuja could not, and neither were we able to go as well!
I have noticed that, wherever there is a flat surface, and a car can be placed on it, Nigerians would drive there! It does not matter if it is the side walk, a football pitch, or someone's compound, or back! Our people would gladly drive on it, without thinking!
We all stopped, at first, not knowing the exact nature of the accident, and pined away in the wilting heat of a scorching mid-day sun!
If hell was hotter than this, then it surely was a bad place to end up!
At one point, I heard a commotion in a bus beside my car: a child was convulsing! Apparently, a sick child was in transit with his parents! The poorly-looking, gaunt,and feeble creature, succumbed to the heat!
In the bedlam, people shouted instructions to the confused, hapless, helpless, hopelessly-looking, and clueless, parents! Some screamed, "make the mama piss for him mouth (let the mother pee in his mouth)! You could tell, I was shocked by my reaction to that one! Others said, "put a spoon in his mouth! "Pour water for him body!
A smart fellow, picked up an onion, the source of our becalment! I suspect, he was trying to use it like smelling salts! And he seemed to be succeeding! I moved close to see what they were doing to the boy! I was again amazed at the level of lack of care! He was hanging in the air, between four adults! One held him by the head alone, another by his feet, and two others held each hand!
I was afraid the overzealous treatment would kill the boy, so I told the idiot holding him by the head, that he was in danger of strangling him! He then proceeded to hold the shoulders! The father was running around like the infamous headless chicken, making phone calls to helpers unseen!
Eventually, the boy, I guess afraid that they would treat him to death, opened his eyes! The parents, who had no water of their own, had to get some from a co-traveler, to pour on him!
We spent two, and half hours, waiting for the fallen truck to be removed! And the journey continued!
I did not get to Akure till nine pm that night!
My return leg of the journey, was uneventful, until I got to Okene! I always tell my friends that, despite my being a model road user, I am more careful anytime I am driving through Okene! Some of the young men in that town, have such short fuses, and would gladly burn one's car for a trifle!
I was waiting in line behind a truck, wondering why we had not moved, when some government fat cats, sirens blaring, and with full bravado, ignored the line of waiting cars, and took the liberty of the "free" lane meant for traffic coming from the opposite direction!
As soon as they offered this great leadership, all manner of similar social misfits,joined the trailing train!
And as simple logic dictates, the rightful user of that lane was bound to show up: and he did!
A very big truck!
One of those juggernauts, laden with goods!
Under normal circumstances, they treat other road users with disdain, and in this case, he was not willing to share his rightful lane!
All the errant drivers started squeezing into any available space to make way for him! In the process, one fellow, smashed my side mirror, and the left front fender! Here I was keeping the law, and suffering from another fellow's recklessness!
I took a photograph of the two mirrors locked in the deadly embrace, and his license plate, to ensure I could trace him, if he were to escape! But he did not! So we parked a few kilometers from the madding crowd!
He came down, begging that it was an accident!
I, as is to be expected, was adamant! I told him he had no business being where he was in the first place!
His lack of care had become my own loss!
I told him calmly, that he was going to replace the mirror, the scratch on the fender, I would sort out! The fellow volunteered that he was coming from the East, and was broke! He said if I did not mind, we could exchange phone numbers that he would fix the car in Abuja! Then he shocked me: he told me he was a pastor!
Pastor? If pastors are breaking the laws of the land with impunity, what would the congregation do? I did not tell him I was a christian, I intend to have him fix it, so that he would remember to behave in future! And it seemed to work too, because a few minutes after, we encountered some more traffic, and when others were facing oncoming traffic to escape, he stayed put!
Gwagwalada was the last point of extreme road rage! Traffic has to converge on a narrow bridge, within the vicinity of a motor park, and a market! I suddenly found myself waiting again, this time for more than thirty minutes! As I waited, I watched as my temperature gauge kept rising, and I kept praying, silently!
At Gwagwalada, people formed seven extra lanes on the right shoulder of the road! They raised so much dust, and made so much noise! In addition, others used the shoulder across the road, to form two extra lanes!
The most culpable people I discovered, were government registered vehicles, and very rich-looking vehicles!
I kept wondering to myself, if being a government operative, exempted one from obeying the law?
When I got to where the helpless, overwhelmed, road safety marshals were, I asked them, why they seemed to favour those who were on the shoulder of the road, breaking the law, more than those of us, who were law-abiding?
They informed me that the government vehicles, including police men, were the cause of the confusion!
Some policemen, had come to threaten them with guns, to allow them go through an unlawful route!
My experience on this trip, has left me wondering:if I were to be a tourist visiting Nigeria for the first time, and had encountered this traffic nightmare, would I want to come back next time, or recommend the place to others?
Secondly, if there is a medical emergency, like a woman in labour, or a sick child, and they have no access to an ambulance with a siren, would they survive what is gradually becoming a routine for us?
It is obvious that soldiers do not make good policemen, they are not trained to! A situation where military checkpoints, force five lanes of traffic into a single file, and end up, not doing more than look at the occupants of the vehicle, and collect bribes from transporters, leaves a whale lot to be desired!
I am wondering what would happen on the road, when the annual mass migration induced by the yuletide season sets in! With the bad roads, checkpoints, and bad road culture, our people are bound to experience hell on our roads in a season meant to celebrate the coming of heaven to earth!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER1
That is what Nigeria seems to have become, at least our roads!
I have not traveled to the Southern part of Nigeria, in the last one year!
Before this hiatus, I had made an average of two trips a month, between Lagos, and Abuja, by road! And it was fun then! I prefer road trips, more than the cursory flyover, simply because I get to see so many visually stimulating subjects I can photograph!
My latest trip to Ondo town to deliver a wedding cake, is in danger of changing my preferred mode of travel!
I left Abuja at mid-day, knowing that the trip to Ondo town, would not be more than five hours! I was so sure I would get to there before seven pm that day!
The usual traffic jam, at Gwagwalada, in the Federal Capital Territory,FCT, was there, but bearable!
The town usually sees high, and intense, traffic jams on Mondays, Fridays, and Sundays! All other days, are better!
From Gwagwalada, the trip proceeded as planned, until a few kilometers to Abaji, the last town on the way out of Abuja!
It was a perfect recipe for disaster! A twelve-wheeled truck, locally known as 911, loaded with onions, fell on its's side! That is normal on our roads!
What was not normal, however, was the geography of the place! It fell just before a bridge across a river, and at peak period! There was no way out, we could not leave the road, and divert through the bush, so we all waited for the valiant men of the Federal Road Safety Corps!
The Abuja-Lokoja road, has been under construction for the past six, or so years! It is meant to be a dual carriage way, and some sections of the dual carriage are already in place: this was the next factor in our hellish trip! Vehicles approaching from the FCT, not only clogged up the old road, but spilled into the new too, thereby creating a bottleneck!
Those coming into Abuja could not, and neither were we able to go as well!
I have noticed that, wherever there is a flat surface, and a car can be placed on it, Nigerians would drive there! It does not matter if it is the side walk, a football pitch, or someone's compound, or back! Our people would gladly drive on it, without thinking!
We all stopped, at first, not knowing the exact nature of the accident, and pined away in the wilting heat of a scorching mid-day sun!
If hell was hotter than this, then it surely was a bad place to end up!
At one point, I heard a commotion in a bus beside my car: a child was convulsing! Apparently, a sick child was in transit with his parents! The poorly-looking, gaunt,and feeble creature, succumbed to the heat!
In the bedlam, people shouted instructions to the confused, hapless, helpless, hopelessly-looking, and clueless, parents! Some screamed, "make the mama piss for him mouth (let the mother pee in his mouth)! You could tell, I was shocked by my reaction to that one! Others said, "put a spoon in his mouth! "Pour water for him body!
A smart fellow, picked up an onion, the source of our becalment! I suspect, he was trying to use it like smelling salts! And he seemed to be succeeding! I moved close to see what they were doing to the boy! I was again amazed at the level of lack of care! He was hanging in the air, between four adults! One held him by the head alone, another by his feet, and two others held each hand!
I was afraid the overzealous treatment would kill the boy, so I told the idiot holding him by the head, that he was in danger of strangling him! He then proceeded to hold the shoulders! The father was running around like the infamous headless chicken, making phone calls to helpers unseen!
Eventually, the boy, I guess afraid that they would treat him to death, opened his eyes! The parents, who had no water of their own, had to get some from a co-traveler, to pour on him!
We spent two, and half hours, waiting for the fallen truck to be removed! And the journey continued!
I did not get to Akure till nine pm that night!
My return leg of the journey, was uneventful, until I got to Okene! I always tell my friends that, despite my being a model road user, I am more careful anytime I am driving through Okene! Some of the young men in that town, have such short fuses, and would gladly burn one's car for a trifle!
I was waiting in line behind a truck, wondering why we had not moved, when some government fat cats, sirens blaring, and with full bravado, ignored the line of waiting cars, and took the liberty of the "free" lane meant for traffic coming from the opposite direction!
As soon as they offered this great leadership, all manner of similar social misfits,joined the trailing train!
And as simple logic dictates, the rightful user of that lane was bound to show up: and he did!
A very big truck!
One of those juggernauts, laden with goods!
Under normal circumstances, they treat other road users with disdain, and in this case, he was not willing to share his rightful lane!
All the errant drivers started squeezing into any available space to make way for him! In the process, one fellow, smashed my side mirror, and the left front fender! Here I was keeping the law, and suffering from another fellow's recklessness!
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| Our mirrors locked in a deadly embrace! One can see the truck in the background, applying pressure on the Toyota Camry |
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| The Camry, now entering the lane he should have been on. |
He came down, begging that it was an accident!
I, as is to be expected, was adamant! I told him he had no business being where he was in the first place!
His lack of care had become my own loss!
I told him calmly, that he was going to replace the mirror, the scratch on the fender, I would sort out! The fellow volunteered that he was coming from the East, and was broke! He said if I did not mind, we could exchange phone numbers that he would fix the car in Abuja! Then he shocked me: he told me he was a pastor!
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| More traffic at Okene, on a single lane road. |
Gwagwalada was the last point of extreme road rage! Traffic has to converge on a narrow bridge, within the vicinity of a motor park, and a market! I suddenly found myself waiting again, this time for more than thirty minutes! As I waited, I watched as my temperature gauge kept rising, and I kept praying, silently!
At Gwagwalada, people formed seven extra lanes on the right shoulder of the road! They raised so much dust, and made so much noise! In addition, others used the shoulder across the road, to form two extra lanes!
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| If the other side of the road looked like this, one can only wonder what the right side would have looked like! |
The most culpable people I discovered, were government registered vehicles, and very rich-looking vehicles!
I kept wondering to myself, if being a government operative, exempted one from obeying the law?
When I got to where the helpless, overwhelmed, road safety marshals were, I asked them, why they seemed to favour those who were on the shoulder of the road, breaking the law, more than those of us, who were law-abiding?
They informed me that the government vehicles, including police men, were the cause of the confusion!
Some policemen, had come to threaten them with guns, to allow them go through an unlawful route!
My experience on this trip, has left me wondering:if I were to be a tourist visiting Nigeria for the first time, and had encountered this traffic nightmare, would I want to come back next time, or recommend the place to others?
Secondly, if there is a medical emergency, like a woman in labour, or a sick child, and they have no access to an ambulance with a siren, would they survive what is gradually becoming a routine for us?
It is obvious that soldiers do not make good policemen, they are not trained to! A situation where military checkpoints, force five lanes of traffic into a single file, and end up, not doing more than look at the occupants of the vehicle, and collect bribes from transporters, leaves a whale lot to be desired!
I am wondering what would happen on the road, when the annual mass migration induced by the yuletide season sets in! With the bad roads, checkpoints, and bad road culture, our people are bound to experience hell on our roads in a season meant to celebrate the coming of heaven to earth!
MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA, OUR NIGERIA, FOREVER1
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